mychem-totheend

Fire burns in my belly, aching to burst from my lips. My pulse ticks to the striking of matches. Pen to paper, the fuel ignites. Words are flames, sweet deadly warmth flicking my wrist, licking the ashy-white page. My cracked lips            twitch in a smile. I turn over,            mind clearing,        returning to "reality;" I claim a moment of rest between my passion and the wave approaching, the list of duties          

"What I fear most, I think, is the death of the imagination... the poverty of life without dreams is too horrible to imagine." These walls around me are crumbling, my small haven of safety burning in fire.  In the smoke and the noise, I carved out a little hole, a cold little place where I keep myself warm.  But that place is now falling, fragments of brick and tar breaking, burning my ashen skin.  My mouth twists in a scream, fingers buried in my hair, over my eyes to block out the searing light filtering through the growing cracks.  Ashes, dust, crumbled brick...my wall of protection lies in pieces at my feet.  The voices I've so long igno

Life is beautiful, in all its joys    and sorrows.   So why must you rip it apart? Put up your claws, stop tearing at sin, let everyone breathe         for the first time. This life will never be perfect.   Let go, breathe, let the pain make you strong. There is peace in lightness and dark. In love and death, we all live forever.   Please don't tear     this faith apart.

Your life is heading up, my soul is heading down.   This is the only way I have to express the strangeness I have found. Inside my heart is the darkest place, the coldest empty home.   Yet you sit inside warming your feet.   Why have you chosen me? I feel like slipping away, hiding away from the world.  I thought I could make it but that was only a dream of another place, a perfection I want to return to.  But I am scarred, the door is barred, my claws scrape through cracks in these walls.  Every day my mind is a storm.  For you I would fix this but still the brightest lights create more shadow. Your love is a pickax hacking a

Your love is healing, being healed, rising to a better life for us.  My love is fighting my demons, smothering fears in easy breaths.  I hide in the truth of silence, calming my beasts and putting the monsters to rest.  This is a darker dream, this is my battle not to let you down.  You fixed me.  I must not fall to disrepair. Each day I silence my demons so I can be ready when you need help silencing yours.  

i. I never wanted this. ii. She was pretty enough, beautiful, underneath her layers of sweat, tangled black hair and baggy shirts, stiff jeans.  Years later, after me, she stripped off the dirt and frumpled clothes to pile on layers of makeup and skimpy leather as she chased new men, new rings.  I never loved her.  We were too young, too soon, too much, not enough.  We were sad, misplaced lust and greed. But I had to make it work. She had a sweet smile, a thoughtlessness that most mistook for innocence.  But her "love" was claws in my back, blood-stained nailbeds and broken glass. 

I love you.   I'm burning    in the agony of your kiss, writhing    in your smile.   I want to give you everything but parts of me are missing.   Disemboweled, my soul sold short, frail limbs rotting in the sun.   I want to give you everything.   Shattered bones, cracked smile, marrow caged in shadow.   I am only yours, always.   Haunted by sin, caged with demons, tormented, screaming, in my heart.   When will I escape?   Darling, rip these devils with your kiss, tear them from my soul

Sometimes I'd rather die that go on walking blind in life, that terrifying uncertainty. It's like tightrop walking in total darkness, your bare feet scraping the rope, scraping only a worn, feeble sense of direction.  Somewhere there is a light, a vague feeling of purpose.  There, there is where I want to go.  Fingers outstretched, almost there...Cuidado, don't slip.  There's no net beneath you.  Nothing to hold you from that fall into the darkness. I know what I want, but I'm terrified to fall from this rope. Should I walk,  or should I jump?